


No Constipated Ducks

by StellarLibraryLady



Series: Library Antics [4]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Ducks, Gen, Humor, Librarians
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-24
Updated: 2016-07-24
Packaged: 2018-07-26 11:50:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7573012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StellarLibraryLady/pseuds/StellarLibraryLady
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Librarians try to help a vagabond duck on Main Street.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Constipated Ducks

One morning before the library was opened, Norene was relating how she had come out of the telephone office from paying a bill and had seen a duck across the street. It had seemed quite tame and had almost, but not quite, been willing to get in the pickup of the county conservation agent who had just come out of the post office. This was on a side street, but traffic was moderately heavy because people were going to work. At the library, Norene shared her concern about the duck’s safety in urban traffic with her coworkers. Theirs was a small rural town, but still the sight of a duck just one block off Main Street was not that common. Nobody would be watching out for a lone duck.

As Norene spoke, a movement outside the front window of the library caught her eye, and she saw the duck flying southbound about three feet over the sidewalk. The library was located on one corner of the block and faced onto Main Street. The duck had to have come down the alley behind the library and waddled around to the front of the library building to be at the location where it started flying.

Anyway, Norene said (because whatever the emergency, you do not yell in a library), “There’s goes the duck now! Come on, Kayla, we’ve got to save the duck!”

So, while Ariel stayed with the library which had just opened, Norene and Kayla hurried down the sidewalk in pursuit of the duck. Norene’s plan was to herd the duck to the end of the block, then turn it off Main and point it back to where Norene had originally seen it. The idea was to get the duck away from the traffic on Main Street.

When Norene and Kayla got to the middle of the block, however, they discovered that the duck had left the sidewalk and was now down on street level at the end of a parked car. Norene and Kayla stepped down to stand with the duck. The duck was indeed tame and let them get close, but not too close. He (for it was a drake) kept tilting his head sideways up at the ladies and saying, “Quack. Quack, quack.”

Now the two ladies and the one duck were within two feet of Main Street traffic, and the proceedings had arrived to the spot in which the duck had to be physically rescued. Norene could see no way to persuade the duck to hop back upon the sidewalk.

Norene said, “Kayla, pick up the duck.”

Kayla looked wild and said, “Me?! You’re the country girl! Not me!”

Norene raised her hand, the one with the cane in it, and said, “I can’t pick it up. I’m using a cane, and it’s a two-handed job to deal with the duck. Just remember, when you pick the duck up, to point the tail AWAY from you. Because there is no such a thing as a constipated duck!” She could have added that in her experience on the farm, she had never known of a duck to have a solid bowel movement. But Norene decided that this wasn't the time or place to inform the former city girl of that information. It can be a vital and practical tip to know on the farm, though.

At this point, the duck must’ve gotten bored with the ladies, because it decided to cross Main Street. Waddling! The car drivers could see the two ladies, but not a duck waddling. It was built too low to the ground, or, in this case, the pavement. The duck would be struck and killed, for sure!

Something had to be done, and fast! Because the duck sure wasn’t stopping.

In sheer desperation, Norene held her hand up, the one with the cane in it. She looked up the street and down the street. And two lines of traffic obediently stopped. Then the two ladies and the waddling duck marched slowly across the street, duck speed. Only in a small town!

When the parade reached the other side, they rested on the sidewalk, and the traffic on Main Street started again. The duck patiently waited, sometimes quacking, while the ladies decided how to proceed. The decision was made to herd the duck into the parking lot behind the bank. Then the duck would be on its on, as the ladies had to get back to work. Besides, the ladies had no idea where the duck’s home was. They learned later, because, of course, this was a small town.

The duck had other plans, though. Or maybe it didn't want to go behind the bank. Anyway, it took off flying again, straight down the sidewalk about three feet in the air. Norene wondered if someone coming out of the drug store on the next block would get hit in the chest by the flying duck. She would have liked to have seen the local doctor’s reaction when he learned how his patient got injured. As this was a farming community, he was used to strange injuries. But still, this surely would've been in the category of unique for any doctor, rural or urban.

The two ladies were glad that the local newspaper editor hadn’t taken their picture and run it in the next week’s paper. Somebody in the cars had surely recognized the ladies. Thank goodness, this was before everyone had cell phone cameras.

About a week after the incident, though, one library patron grinned and asked Norene if she and Kayla had ever gotten their duck under control.


End file.
